Reflections During the Coronavirus Pandemic – April 17, 2020

It has been only a month since we have been in this quarantine state and perspectives have changed so drastically…who would have ever thought that the many things we take for granted, going to work, working out at the gym, eating at a restaurant, going to the movies, shopping and seeing our families would cease and going to the food store would mean wearing a mask and gloves and attending church would be on-line? 

The Easter season had a strong message this year, a time of reflection, of spiritual renewal, rebirth and hope.  It was a strong sign that we aren’t meant to go back to what was. We are meant to go forward both individually and collectively.  We are in a time of great transition, I think from materialism to consciousness.  Our world will change and we have learned what being a global citizen in this pandemic really means, sharing in a common experience no matter where we live, how much money we make, what the color of our skin is.  We are in this together.  There is a lot of suffering, there is a great deal of privilege and this is something that we can all think about more deeply.  Each of us will come out of this time a different person, a changed human being. How could we not?

This will be over in God’s time. Not in our time. Not in the President’s time. Not even in Dr. Fauci’s time. I know that’s probably not what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. Today is all we have. As Pope Francis said last week, “we must take care of the now for the sake of tomorrow.” So right now, today, I hope you can take care of your heart and your mind. By doing so, you will be able to take care of others who depend on you. And I know there are a lot of people who depend on you. My hope, however, is that we all come out of it more together than alone.  My hope is that we will come out of this stronger, wiser, and altered in the best way possible.  I ran across this quote this week from Lemony Snicket, the author of A Series of Unfortunate Events…”Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.” So true, it does seem strange and uncomfortable, but what we choose to do with those offerings makes all the difference in the world.  

I have been in so many conversations with others, listened to a variety of podcasts and on-line programs, been on-line conducting meditations, workshops, taking a course to deepen my own practices,  reading and listening to a lot of music.  It’s been information overload…podcasts and virtual museum tours, exercise videos, free access to resources…feeling like I am missing out!  While many are busy cleaning out closets, binge watching television shows, sorting through files, cooking complicated recipes, spending lots of time working out, and getting to the home ‘to do lists,’  I find myself trying to figure out my ‘new normal,’ which is exhausting.  My coaching conversations are different, creating on-line mindfulness meditations, thinking about my value in this crisis and what can I do to prepare myself to serve when we come out of it?  Cultivating an attitude of tragic optimism. This term coined for those that those that have lived through a severe crisis, and through their ability to remain resilient through the crisis, they acquire a newfound sense of purpose, develop deeper relationships, have a greater appreciation of life and report other benefits.  “Tragic Optimism” is where I want to be…not in an endurance place waiting for this to be over, but in a resilience space of figuring out who can I be during this time, what can I learn and apply when we come out of this in a new place. 

It’s not the adversity itself that leads to growth, it’s how people respond to it. According to the psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun of the University of North Carolina at Charlotte, who coined the term “post-traumatic growth” in the 1990s, the people who grow after a crisis spend a lot of time trying to make sense of what happened and understanding how it changed them.  In other words, they search for and find positive meaning.

I recently listened to a podcast with Brene Brown interviewing Alicia Keyes on her new book, ‘More Myself,’ and she says, “We stay busy enough so the truth of our lives doesn’t catch up with us.”  We now have time to be less busy and more mindful.   I want to find that mindful space to find that purpose, that truth.  The earth is breathing now with less pollution, cleaner water, space to ‘be.’  Perhaps that is where we too, need to be.  Each time we breathe, over 2300 times a day…what an opportunity to stay centered to remind ourselves ‘to be,’ in this extraordinary time. As Abe Lincoln said, “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”

My advice while ‘sheltering at home.’You have to have a schedule…get up in the morning and have a plan for the day, develop new routines, walk, exercise, drink more water. Do something for someone else each day, focus on gratitude in our own privileged lives.  We are all in this together. I think that everyone needs to find discipline, and I need to start taking my own advice on making sure that we know this is a marathon, not a sprint.  And additionally, being good to my mental health, being good to all my co-workers and colleagues and everyone I know.  I have a dog who I have never loved more, she gets me out…those early morning walks start the day and continue to put structure around taking breaks and being present.  And most importantly, find gratitude daily for at least 3 -5 things that made you smile. Being of service is also something that will make you feel less anxiety and fear.  

Whether you are making masks, sending $$ to a charity, delivering meals, sending a lunch to a hospital floor or grocery store, doing a drive-by visit, calling someone who may need a boost today, those things matter.  Let’s stay at home and listen to the guidelines.  It is amazing to me how people define, ‘essential’ and expose themselves and others to possible virus spread and may not even know it.  Keep washing our hands, keeping social distance, but maintaining those very important emotional connections.

Life continues…I am noticing the robin who just built a nest in the wreath outside my door, laid 4 small blue eggs over the course of a week, now hovering, along with the dad, I presume…it is Spring and I await the arrival of the baby birds with anticipation.  It’s Spring!  My cousin’s daughter just gave birth to a tiny baby boy last week, another miracle.  My nephew just got engaged and so another family event to look forward to…life continues…as it should.  Be well and notice those daily events…

Here’s a poem that is most relevant at this time. 

When The World Stopped

by Donna Ashworth

History will remember when the world stopped
And the flights stayed on the ground.
And the cars parked in the street
And the trains didn’t run.
History will remember when the schools closed
And the children stayed indoors
And the medical staff walked towards the fire
And they didn’t run.
History will remember when the people sang
On their balconies, in isolation
But so very together.
In courage and song.
History will remember when the people fought
For their old and their weak
Protected the vulnerable
By doing nothing at all.
History will remember when the virus left
And the houses opened
And the people came out
And hugged and kissed
And started again
Kinder than before.

Be Well, Be Safe, Keep Social Distance, but not Emotional Distance.